Staff Reports
Ain’t that a sight to behold! President Joe Biden is now taking the kiddie stairs onto Air Force One like a little old granny trying to avoid a stumble. Can you blame him after his embarrassing fall at the commencement ceremony? According to NBC News, Biden’s use of the shorter staircase has skyrocketed since that tumble. Before the incident, he only used them 37% of the time, but now he’s practically using them every chance he gets, a whopping 84%! It’s clear that the president just can’t risk another viral video of him tripping like a clumsy schoolboy.
There's an Update on Biden's Health Status
https://t.co/e0dCjHXHne— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) September 26, 2023
The White House refused to directly answer whether Biden’s new approach to stairs is solely about reducing the chance of another fall. Yeah, right. They claim it depends on the weather, the airport, and even the press wanting to capture those precious photo ops. But we all know the truth. Biden’s taking the kiddie stairs because he’s scared. He’s scared of losing face, scared of becoming a punchline. And honestly, who can blame him? It’s not like the man exudes confidence and grace on a regular basis.
But wait, it gets better. Axios reports that Biden has been undergoing physical therapy to prevent future falls. I guess they finally realized he needs some serious help in the coordination department. They’ve got him working with a physical therapist since November 2021, doing exercises to improve his balance. And get this, he’s even started wearing tennis shoes more often to avoid slipping. It’s like watching an old man tiptoeing around the house in his socks, afraid of a slippery floor. Can you imagine if Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush had to resort to such antics? It’s a sad state of affairs when our president has to take such precautions.
According to Biden’s doctor, his balance issues are due to “significant spinal arthritis” and “mild post-fracture foot arthritis.” Ouch. Sounds like he’s falling apart faster than the border crisis under his watch. But fear not, the doctor has recommended some fancy maneuvers to help our dear president maintain his balance. They call it “proprioceptive maintenance maneuvers.” Don’t ask what that means, though. Nobody seems to have a clue.
To top it all off, the White House Physician, Colonel Kevin O’Connor, has been conveniently unavailable to answer any reporters’ questions about Biden’s health. How convenient. It’s almost like they don’t want the American people to know the full extent of their president’s physical shortcomings. But hey, what’s new? Transparency doesn’t seem to be the Biden administration’s strong suit.
All in all, it’s clear that Biden’s stumble at the commencement ceremony has left him shaken, both literally and figuratively. He’s tiptoeing around like a scared puppy, desperately trying to avoid any more embarrassing falls. But let’s be honest, no amount of physical therapy or special maneuvers can hide the fact that the leader of the free world is struggling to maintain his balance. It’s a sad state of affairs, my friends. A sad state of affairs indeed.
