Staff Reports
Alright, you patriots, get ready to dive into a wild and wacky story about how the open borders brigade is causing quite a ruckus over in our nation’s capital. It seems President Joe Biden, bless his heart, is trying to do a little somethin’ somethin’ about all those illegal immigrants pourin’ across our southern border like it’s the world’s biggest game of Red Rover. But hold onto your hats, ’cause Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, also known as the Notorious AOC, thinks ol’ Joe is just tryin’ on a Trump costume!
According to those folks over at Fox News, over 7.2 million illegal immigrants have waltzed across our border since Biden sat in the big chair — that’s more people than there are in 36 whole states! And a bunch of these folks are filin’ asylum claims faster than you can say “pink flamingo” at a lawn party. And get this — some of ’em don’t even have a court date until the mid-2030s! That’s right, folks, they’ll be here longer than it’ll take you to grow out that terrible haircut you got last year.
Now, the border crisis has been chuggin’ along like a freight train ever since ol’ Joe became president, and it’s got some folks all in a tizzy about whether he’ll get to keep his parking spot come election time. Especially if he’s facing off with that certain former president who promised to build a “big, beautiful wall” along our southern border. Yup, you guessed it — Donald J. Trump, the man, the myth, the hairdo.
AOC: Biden Doing ‘Trump Impression’ by Finally Pretending to Enforce Border Law pic.twitter.com/py4w8n036R
— The Liberty Loft (@thelibertyloft) February 23, 2024
So, what’s ol’ Joe thinking of doin’ about this mess? Well, according to a report from CNN, his administration is considering layin’ down some executive action to put a kink in the hose of all these folks tryin’ to seek asylum after scootin’ across the border. And wouldn’t ya know it, that’s got folks more riled up than a bunch of cats in a room full of rocking chairs! They’re hollerin’ that it’s just like what Trump did, and boy oh boy, you’d think they were chewin’ on a mouthful of sour grapes by the sound of it.
And who’s leading the charge against this plan? None other than the Notorious AOC herself. She’s takin’ to social media, sayin’ that doing Trump impressions isn’t how we beat Trump. She’s preachin’ that seekin’ asylum is a God-given right, and any notion of restrictin’ that is just plain nonsensical in her book.
But wait, there’s more! Some folks over at the Justice Department are scratchin’ their heads and wonderin’ if this executive order could even survive a legal battle. And as for the White House, they’re talkin’ about how they’ve been tryin’ to make nice with Congress, but they can’t seem to get anyone there to give ’em the time of day.
Even ol’ Mike Johnson, the top dog in the House, is turnin’ his nose up at the whole thing, sayin’ that the bill to fix the border crisis is even worse than he expected and that it ain’t gonna fly in his neck of the woods.
So, what’s the bottom line here, folks? Well, it looks like the open borders gang is goin’ to bat to let this whole mess keep on truckin’, while the rest of us are wonderin’ why ol’ Joe didn’t try to slam shut this barn door a lot sooner. But hey, never a dull moment in the world of politics, right? And remember, the 2024 election is comin’ up faster than a jackrabbit on a hot tin roof, so buckle up, ’cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!
