Staff Reports
The latest episode from the bureaucratic theater of the absurd features the CIA Director John Ratcliffe dishing out some hot intel in front of the Senate. Seems like the nation’s top spooks want to assure everyone that using the encrypted messaging app Signal for work-related government communications is as good as Grandma’s apple pie. Apparently, the news cycle got a little spicy when the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic accidentally found himself in a group chat discussing national security decisions involving strikes on Yemen. One might say he wandered into a conversation meant for the adults.
Ratcliffe didn’t keep things under wraps during his testimony. He revealed that from day one of his confirmation, Signal was uploaded on his CIA computer like some sort of digital Swiss army knife for spies. It’s not just him; apparently, this app is standard issue for most CIA officers. Who knew that top-tier intelligence work came with a side of modern technology? The whole scenario suggests that the CIA has figured out how to do a little covert messaging without needing parchment and quills. But hey, it’s nice to know that even spies can text their buddies about serious topics—just make sure to not include anyone from the Atlantic in that chat next time.
The CIA Director assured Congress that using Signal to coordinate work activities is not a newfangled idea hatched by the Biden administration; it’s apparently been going on for ages, back in the Trump era and likely beyond. Ratcliffe’s emphasis on proper record-keeping was reminiscent of a high school teacher reminding kids to do their homework—only this time, the stakes are a tad higher than a missed math assignment. Official intel is meant to be documented, but that seems to be a reminder more for the forgetful than a sign of genuine procedural concern.
CIA Director John Ratcliffe Says Signal Is Authorized for Government Use https://t.co/54nsTs0wQw via @BreitbartNews
— James Keay (@reach147) March 26, 2025
Moreover, in a not-so-subtle jab at the Atlantic and its crew, Ratcliffe made it clear that his communications in that group chat were completely above board and included no classified information. No top-secret pizza orders here, folks. It’s tough to know what’s more entertaining: the idea that a bunch of high-ranking officials might have been chatting about vital issues while curating a likely awful podcast on Signal or that the media is still hunting for scandal like children on an Easter egg hunt, only to find a plastic egg with a note that says “Try Again.”
In this climate of political posturing and media hyperbole, Ratcliffe’s testimony serves as a stark reminder: Using modern technology is perfectly normal for national security discussions, as long as you’re not adding random editors from liberal magazines into sensitive chats. This entire episode exposes the lengths to which the media will go to create a storyline worthy of a thriller novel. But it turns out the only real drama unfolding was a case of mistaken group chat identity—the real-life version of “oops, wrong thread.”
