Staff Reports
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the fearless defender of the Sunshine State, isn’t one to sit back and twiddle his thumbs when the borders are under threat. Oh no, he’s taking action, y’all! With a flick of his wrist and a “Hasta la vista, illegal aliens!” the Governor has sent reinforcements down south to the Keys. Why? Because the risk of illegal immigrants swarming in from Haiti is higher than a giraffe’s ears!
In a bold move straight out of an action movie, DeSantis has ordered over 250 officers and soldiers, along with a bunch of air and sea craft, to patrol the southern coast like guardian angels. These heroes are joining the ranks of Operation Vigilant Sentry, keeping watch for any shady characters trying to sneak into our beloved Florida. And you better believe they mean business!
For quite some time, the State of Florida has been dedicating significant resources to combat illegal vessels coming to Florida from countries such as Haiti. Given the circumstances in Haiti, I have directed the Division of Emergency Management, the Florida State Guard, and state…
— Ron DeSantis (@GovRonDeSantis) March 13, 2024
DeSantis ain’t playing games when it comes to protecting his people. With the federal government snoozing on their watch, he’s taking matters into his own hands and saying, “Not on my watch, buddy!” Illegal immigrants may think they can saunter across the border like they own the place, but not on DeSantis’s turf. Under his leadership, Florida will stand strong and show those rule-breakers that they ain’t welcome here.
Meanwhile, down in Haiti, things are going haywire faster than a cat on a hot tin roof. The Prime Minister Ariel Henry is tossing in the towel quicker than you can say “bonjour” after facing off with some seriously scary gangsters. These baddies are causing chaos left and right, with one fella named Jimmy “Barbecue” Cherizier leading the charge. This dude’s so bonkers he’s talking about starting a genocide if he doesn’t get his way. I mean, seriously, who does he think he is, the king of the world?
So, hats off to Governor DeSantis for standing tall and protecting Florida from all the riffraff trying to sneak in. With him at the helm, you can bet your bottom dollar that our state is in good hands. And as for those troublemakers causing a ruckus in Haiti, well, they better watch out ’cause Uncle Sam ain’t gonna let ’em run wild for long. Peace out, y’all!
