Staff Reports
In a hilarious turn of events, the far-left organization ProgressNow has decided to spend a whopping $70 million to try and make President Joe Biden “cool” online. Good luck with that! It seems like quite the uphill battle, but hey, they’re not ones to be easily discouraged.
Their plan is to create an “echo chamber” on the left, essentially trying to compete with the already successful echo chamber on the right. Because evidently uncommitted voters find echo chambers to be incredibly persuasive. Or so they think.
Now, here’s where it gets really funny. ProgressNow has already started testing their efforts, and get this: they think using a bright pink image that depicts a text message conversation is the way to go. Yes, you read that right. They believe that a pink text message conversation is the key to convincing people that Biden is doing a great job with the economy. Brilliant strategy, don’t you think? Who needs actual policy communication when you can rely on pink text bubbles?
Tales of the Absurd:
– Progressive Group Takes on Hopeless Task – Making Joe Biden 'Cool' https://t.co/wPzA4XRu3L— Diane Lange (@DclareDiane) September 25, 2023
But wait, it gets even better. ProgressNow plans to use an app called Megaphone to sell their message. And get this: they used the app in Michigan during last year’s midterms and targeted astrology enthusiasts. Yes, they thought that astrology lovers would be the perfect audience to convince that Michigan’s Secretary of State is doing a fantastic job. Because apparently there’s a strong correlation between astrology believers and people who believe in Biden’s economic policies. Who knew?
All jokes aside, ProgressNow’s mission to make Biden “cool” is not only absurd but also impossible. Joe Biden will never be “cool” no matter how much money they throw at the problem. It’s like trying to make a turtle sprint like a cheetah, it’s just not gonna happen. Maybe instead of wasting $70 million on this futile endeavor, ProgressNow should focus on policies that actually benefit the American people. Just a thought.
