Staff Reports
In yet another exercise in political correctness, Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign is turning job applications into a veritable carnival of pronouns. The online application form offers a dizzying array of pronoun options that could leave even the most seasoned scholar of gender identity scratching their head. Prospective campaign workers can choose from mainstream options like “he/him” and “she/her,” but those feeling particularly adventurous can opt for whimsical selections like “xe/xem” or “fae/faer.” If that doesn’t sound like a complex game of Scrabble gone awry, then nothing does.
For those worried that such choices might limit their options, fear not! The Harris campaign is all about inclusivity, encouraging applicants to think outside the box—literally. The application even provides a space for custom pronouns, demonstrating a clear commitment to ensuring that no stone is left unturned in the quest for perfect pronoun representation. It appears that the campaign truly believes the pathway to political leadership must be paved not just with ideas but also with a plethora of gender-neutral terms.
If you apply for Harris for President job, here are the different pronoun selections to choose from. 🤔 https://t.co/CKfdjyrnf6 pic.twitter.com/zkUG0sKGG6
— Gabriella Hoffman (@Gabby_Hoffman) August 15, 2024
The fascination with neopronouns takes a particularly quirky twist. Some of the lesser-known options carry meanings that sound better suited for a fantasy novel than a political application. Take “hu/hu,” which is explained as shorthand for “human” or “fae/faer,” a nod to mythical faeries. It’s about time a campaign took such bold strides to reflect the ethereal side of politics, right? If only they could promise a fairy godmother to sprinkle some common sense on all this.
However, the pronouns are not the only eyebrow-raising aspect of the Harris campaign’s approach. The application also dives into the murky waters of diversity, equity, and inclusion—those buzzwords that have become synonymous with modern leftist priorities. Candidates are prompted with queries about how they plan to contribute to a “diverse culture,” while the form goes out of its way to gather demographic information that is entirely optional yet “strongly encouraged.” Nothing screams transparency quite like making applicants feel obliged to self-identify across a questionnaire that would make a census taker weep.
Harris herself has made headlines before for her emphasis on pronouns and equity, reinforcing the notion that this application isn’t just a peculiar quirk but rather a reflection of her political philosophy. She’s often touted a vision where equality is a series of starting points rather than a finish line—after all, according to her, some people come into the race from first base while others might as well be playing catch-up from the parking lot. It’s an interesting twist on the American dream, suggesting that some individuals deserve a little more help crossing the finish line, which inevitably leads to some serious questions about meritocracy in the age of political correctness.
In summary, the Harris for President campaign is shaping up to be a tribute to a culture where individuality seems to be measured only by labels. With an application process that prioritizes a smorgasbord of pronouns and a laundry list of diversity metrics, it invites a delightful mix of confusion and amusement. The real question remains: when did becoming a campaign worker morph into navigating a whimsical expression of self rather than focusing on the “who” and the “what” of political objectives? Heaven will help us in November—it’s going to be a fantastic ride.
