Staff Reports
Illinois has a long, sordid history of political corruption that rivals the most outrageous crime dramas, and Governor J.B. Pritzker is only the latest cast member in this ongoing saga. The recent resurfacing of the notorious Great Toilet Caper shines a spotlight on Pritzker’s questionable ethics and his ambition for higher office, specifically a potential run for the 2028 Presidential election. For those who may not have been following the ever-entertaining circus of Illinois politics, Pritzker, a Democrat and heir to the Hyatt Hotels fortune, has become a prominent figure indeed, but not without his fair share of bathroom blunders.
The tale began in 2015 when Pritzker and his wife devised a rather curious scheme to lower their tax bill. After acquiring a vacant mansion in a prime Chicago neighborhood for $3.7 million, instead of maintaining the property, they made the headscratching decision to remove five toilets. This maneuver was not merely for home improvement—rather, it was a clever ruse to classify the property as “uninhabitable” in a bid to escape hefty property taxes. In an eyebrow-raising example of Democratic creativity, the Cook County assessor’s office obliged, slashing the assessed value of the mansion from a whopping $6.3 million to a measly $1.1 million. This not-so-great plumbing caper ultimately earned the Pritzkers a $330,000 tax refund. Who knew toilets could be so profitable?
Fast forward to the present, and Pritzker’s past escapades are causing waves as he emerges as a potential 2028 contender for the Democratic nomination. His hefty wallet and unabashed willingness to fund his campaign put him in the running, despite only recently avoiding legal troubles from his tax misadventures. It’s interesting to note that while the Democratic party seems to be in a state of panic with Kamala Harris fading into obscurity, Pritzker’s wealth may help him push through the chaos. The party might be marking time for their next great white hope, but it appears one can’t help but wonder if they’ll latch onto a man with a shady past instead of a visionary leader.
2028 Democrat Presidential Hopefuls and The Great Pritzker Toilet Caper https://t.co/4MoPhTr0by #Illinois #Democrats #TaxDay
— Ward Clark (@TheGreatLander) April 16, 2025
But it’s not just the toilets that raise eyebrows; the financial machinations surrounding J.B. Pritzker paint a picture of a man who knows how to play the system like a fiddle. Very recently, allegations surfaced regarding his contractor, Bulley & Andrews, who seemed to cozy up to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for a lucrative $9 million deal during the pandemic. While the need for COVID-19 facilities was rampant, the timing and transparency of these contracts have come under heavy scrutiny. The national uproar over federal contracts points to a troubling trend within Democratic leadership—the merge of power, influence, and money that provides cover for extravagant spending and tax evasion.
It’s an ironic twist that those who often rail against the wealthy and lecture everyday Americans about their tax responsibilities are often the same ones gaming the system. Pritzker’s antics reflect a classic double standard; he wants to pretend he’s an everyman, fighting for the downtrodden while he pursues every loophole available to save a buck. It’s a familiar narrative for those who understand the Democratic playbook—hypocrisy wrapped in a shiny package, proclaiming virtue while only wearing the mask of concern for the little guy.
As the candidates for 2028 begin to jockey for position, J.B. Pritzker’s Great Toilet Caper serves as a vivid reminder that the Democratic party’s values are often as credible as a porcelain throne—that at the end of the day, it all comes down to who flushes the biggest tax loopholes. While the nation watches and waits for this new round of political theater to unfold, one can only hope the American people remain savvy enough to see through the decorative bathroom wallpaper.
