Staff Reports
Meghan Markle has once again decided to swap out her brand name like a kid changing outfits before a school dance. This time, she has ditched “American Riviera Orchard” in favor of “As Ever.” If anyone is waiting on the edge of their seats for what this means, they’d better buckle up because it seems just as confusing as her last few attempts at stardom. It’s almost like she thinks that rebranding herself every few months will magically transform her public image from that of a royal reject to the next Martha Stewart — spoiler alert: it won’t.
Markle’s endeavors over the past several years have become a masterclass in what not to do in business. From a fleeting podcast career that barely made it out of the starting gate to a lackluster Netflix contract that’s been about as effective as a broken umbrella in a storm, her efforts to land on her feet have fallen flat more times than a pancake on a Sunday morning. The much-hyped lifestyle brand really only got traction with a couple of jars of strawberry jam sent to Hollywood elites, which is hardly the hallmark of a successful venture.
In her latest Instagram ramblings, Markle showcased “As Ever” not just as a simple rebranding but as a deep dive into her supposed passion for gardening and hospitality—whatever that means. Somehow, she thinks that spouting off about her culinary hobbies is enough to invigorate consumer interest. But let’s face it: the only thing she’s consistently managed to share is her unshakable belief in her own talent, despite public opinion suggesting otherwise. If her “jam” is any indication, she might as well be serving up disappointment on toast.
She was once the darling of the tabloids, a beacon of hope for many who cheered on the American girl who made it into the British monarchy. But instead of seizing that moment, Markle has made herself into a punchline, trading in princess dreams for a life of perpetual self-promotion. Now, she’s clinging to her identity like a toddler to a teddy bear, believing that everyone is just itching to hear more about her life as a “celebrity.” Good luck with that.
Netflix has thrown a ton of money at Meghan Markle to do something useful. She doesn't as she's unlikable, abusive, & pretty untalented. She thinks she can sell herself. She can't.
Meghan Markle Rebrands Herself. Again. And It's Already Not Going Well. https://t.co/P6KmHE9Efa
— TS Waters (@TSWatersWriting) February 19, 2025
The new brand is supposed to tie into her upcoming Netflix series, humorously titled “With Love, Meghan,” showcasing her frolicking about in a mansion while the American public struggles to afford groceries. Royal commentators are enjoying this recent twist of irony, highlighting how she and Harry have royally tanked their promise to change the world for the better, now reduced to selling artisanal jam like it’s a desperate garage sale. One could say it’s quite the downgrade. And if the buzz about trademark theft over the logo used in Spain gains steam, it looks like Markle’s rebranding train could be derailing even before it gets out of the station.
One thing’s for certain: under the glossy exterior, the foundation of Markle’s brand continues to crumble, with the only question being how many names she can go through before someone finally decides to cut her off from the lucrative media deals. With Netflix’s patience wearing thin, it might not be long before Meghan and Harry find themselves not just on the outside of the royal family but looking for actual jobs—how about that for a real-life fairy tale?
