Staff Reports
Yeehaw! Hold onto your hats, folks, ’cause the New York City Health Department is at it again! Those busybodies are advising folks to put on their masks over Labor Day weekend. Can you believe it? They just can’t seem to get enough of their mask obsession.
According to the Department’s spokesperson, it’s a “good idea” to wear a mask if you’re planning to be in crowded areas during the holiday. But guess what? They swear up and down that they’re not planning on making masks mandatory again. Well, isn’t that generous of them?
Now, brace yourselves for some “data.” The city’s infection rate is apparently around 18 cases per 100,000 people. Yeah, sure, if you believe those numbers. Who knows how many cases are really out there with the lack of testing going on? But hey, why let the truth get in the way of fearmongering?
JUST IN: The New York City Health Department is advising residents and visitors to mask up over Labor Day weekend due to an apparent uptick in COVID-19 cases.
Will you be masking up? ? https://t.co/EA0DdHOZju
— Proud Elephant ??? (@ProudElephantUS) September 3, 2023
And get this, folks: hospitalizations for COVID patients have gone up! But don’t worry, it’s nowhere near the levels we saw during the Omicron wave. You remember that, right? Don’t you miss the good old days when we were all hunkered down in our homes, afraid to step outside? Ah, memories.
But wait, there’s more! The Health Commissioner, Dr. Ashwin Vasan, wants to make sure you stay up to date with your COVID vaccines. Because apparently, that’s our best defense against the virus. Forget about natural immunity or personal choice, right? Just roll up your sleeve and trust the experts.
And finally, don’t you just love how President Biden swooped in with the promise of a new vaccine to combat this new variant called “Pirola” or BA.2.86? It’s like he’s the savior of the nation, riding in on his white horse to save us all from the big bad virus. Give me a break!
So, there you have it, folks. The City Health Department wants you to mask up this Labor Day weekend, just in case you haven’t had your fill of face coverings. But remember, it’s all for your own good, according to the so-called “experts.” Just another chapter in the never-ending saga of COVID hysteria.
