Staff Reports
President-elect Donald Trump is once again turning the political tides with a grand scheme to establish a shiny new agency known as the “External Revenue Service.” Yes, you heard that right—move over, Internal Revenue Service. On the very first day of his administration, Trump aims to bring a fresh approach to taxation by targeting foreign entities that profit off the American market. This isn’t just another government bureaucracy; it’s a bold maneuver to reclaim financial sovereignty from the clutches of international exploiters.
In a statement on Truth Social, Trump articulated his frustration with the current taxation framework, which has been more about bleeding American taxpayers dry than ensuring foreigners pay their fair share. The President-elect lamented the shortcomings of previous trade agreements, which have left American wallets annoyingly light while facilitating foreign profits. It’s like hosting a party in your own house only for guests to leave with your snacks—something simply must change.
BREAKING: President Donald Trump has announced the formation of the External Revenue Service, set to launch on January 20.
This new agency will be responsible for collecting all revenues from foreign sources. pic.twitter.com/okaiKMnpRB
— The General (@GeneralMCNews) January 14, 2025
The External Revenue Service, as painted by Trump, will be charged with collecting tariffs, duties, and any revenue that comes from foreign sources, making sure that those profiting from the American market do so at a fair cost. There’s no confusion here; the mission is as clear as day: those profiting off the U.S. will finally be contributing to the American coffers. And let’s be real; it’s about time. After decades of pinching pennies from hardworking Americans, this strategy sounds refreshing—like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer day.
On his first day, Trump’s agenda won’t stop with the External Revenue Service. Alongside this piece de resistance, he’s eyeing a series of executive orders aimed at bolstering national security and restoring traditional values. From securing the southern border to launching a mass deportation strategy, Trump has promised a whirlwind of action. He’s all set to terminate Biden’s eco-restrictions and curtail “child sexual mutilation” while erasing transgender ideology from the military and schools. Talk about setting the bar high—January 20, 2025, is shaping up to be quite the spectacle.
In summary, Trump’s vision for Day One is not just about taxes; it’s about reshaping the American landscape to prioritize national integrity and economic strength. Voters can expect fewer foreign freeloaders and a government that truly represents its people—and if that comes packaged with a catchy new agency name, all the better. Time will tell if the External Revenue Service lives up to its bold promise, but for now, it certainly adds a unique flair to the political conversation.
