Staff Reports
In a bizarre turn of events, it appears that Montana grizzly bears are meeting an unfortunate fate due to their own drunken behavior. It turns out that these majestic creatures have been “getting drunk” on fermented grain and subsequently being struck by trains near Glacier National Park. This unusual phenomenon has resulted in the deaths of 63 bears since 1980, with 2019 being the deadliest year, claiming the lives of eight grizzlies. Sadly, three more have already lost their lives this year.
Montana Grizzlies Are Getting Drunk, Passing Out, and Being Hit by Trainshttps://t.co/UcgEqSGYso
— RedState (@RedState) November 8, 2023
The cause of this tragic situation can be attributed to grain spilled from railcars along the tracks. As snow and rain provide enough moisture, the grain undergoes fermentation, effectively turning the area into a makeshift brewery, according to retired federal ecologist Chuck Neal. The fermented grain serves as an alluring treat for the bears, enticing them to indulge. However, their intoxicated state often leads to ill-fated decisions, such as falling asleep on the tracks or attempting to outrun approaching trains.
It is undeniably heartbreaking to witness such extraordinary creatures fall victim to their own impairment. The author, having personal experience hunting pheasants near railroad tracks in Iowa for spilled grain, acknowledges the inevitability of such incidents. While the quantity of alcohol consumed by the bears may not seem significant compared to a can of cheap beer, the sheer size of a grizzly bear renders any amount hazardous.
Interestingly, the problem of animals engaging in intoxicated behavior seems to extend beyond grizzlies. Recent reports include raccoons in Germany stealing beer (hats off to their refined taste in German lagers and pilsners) and sheep in Greece indulging in their own version of “tying one on.” It seems that even animals are not immune to the allure of intoxicants.
Moving forward, it is crucial for the Montana Fish & Game authorities to prioritize keeping these bears away from the dangerous combination of train tracks and fermented grain. Although some may perceive this as pandering to environmentalists, taking preventative measures could save countless bear lives. Perhaps the solution lies in appointing game rangers as “beartenders” or enforcing relevant statutes. The population of these remarkable creatures cannot afford to sustain further losses.
Luckily, Alaska seems to have escaped this peculiar issue, despite boasting the highest population of black and grizzly bears in any state. Along the Susitna River, where thriving bear populations reside, opportunities for intoxication are scarce. However, rumor has it that on rare occasions, one may hear a drunken grizzly unleash its bearitone. Alaska truly is a land of surprises.
