Staff Reports
In a move that could only be described as a high-stakes familial favor, President Biden has invoked his presidential powers to grant a pardon to his son, Hunter. In a statement that could easily be mistaken for a scene from a telenovela, Biden argued that his son was the unfortunate victim of a politically charged vendetta, rather than someone simply trying to navigate life with a few bad choices and a questionable clientele.
Biden insists that Hunter’s legal troubles stem from a concerted effort by political rivals to undermine his presidency. Allegedly, these opponents are using Hunter as a pawn in their game against the big man himself. According to Biden, his boy was targeted not for any actual wrongdoing, but simply for being the son of a sitting president. One could almost hear the world’s smallest violin playing in the background as the narrative unfolds.
The President’s proclamation attempts to explain that felony charges resulting from incomplete gun applications are rarely pursued unless one is, say, a Father Christmas of crime. Instead, Biden claims that these actions against Hunter are a clear deviation from the norm, highlighting how individuals with substance abuse issues receive leniency in tax matters—a stark reality that seems to escape the Biden family’s grasp. It appears that Biden might want to take a seat and review the long list of individuals who haven’t gotten the same treatment as Hunter.
The full written statement from Biden on his decision to pardon his son Hunter Bidenhttps://t.co/6ND5PN1FW4 pic.twitter.com/tQq2NXbbyS
— The Washington Times (@WashTimes) December 2, 2024
As the cherry on top of this highly controversial sundae, Biden mentioned his son’s five-and-a-half years of sobriety as if that magically erases the mountain of legal trouble he has lumbered through. Instead of focusing on the personal responsibility that many Americans are expected to shoulder, it seems there’s a double standard at play, one that ensures certain families can dodge accountability while the rest of the nation is left to contend with the law.
This whole declaration raises some serious eyebrows. Biden claims to adhere to a strict belief in the justice system, yet here he is throwing down the paternal gauntlet, suggesting that the system has been corrupted into an unfair playground of political games. If this is the truth of the matter—if a father’s love truly translates into a presidential pardon—one has to wonder how many other families would similarly benefit from a little White House intervention. How charming it must be when one’s biggest life lessons can be solved by a simple stroke of a pen. Who needs justice when you have political privilege?
