Biden Plays Nice at Picnic, Tries to Save Face Post-Hunter Hearing!

President Joe Biden recently hosted a congressional picnic at the White House and, in a stunning twist, called on Republicans and Democrats to actually be friends and treat each other nicely. Can you believe it? I mean, who does this guy think he is, Mr. Rogers? It’s like he completely forgot that politics is all about anger and division. But hey, at least he opened his remarks with a joke, because that’s what really matters in these trying times.

In his speech, Biden thanked the members of Congress for attending and, of course, started talking about family. Because why not? Who wants to focus on important issues when you can talk about your Aunt Susie’s famous meatloaf recipe, right? It’s absolutely riveting stuff. Oh, and did I mention that this all happened on the same day that two IRS whistleblowers spilled the beans on the Bidens allegedly making $17 million in foreign money? But hey, let’s talk about family instead!

But wait, it gets better. The president then proceeded to give shoutouts to Nancy Pelosi and Kevin McCarthy, because apparently, friendship knows no party lines. Can you feel the love in the air? I know I can’t. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more nauseating, Biden concluded his remarks with a message of unity and friendship. How heartwarming. I’m sure all the politicians in attendance left the picnic holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

In true Biden fashion, the White House press secretary made sure to clarify that all lawmakers were invited to the picnic, even those pesky Republicans. What a relief. I mean, we wouldn’t want to exclude anyone from this love fest, right? After all, being friends and good to each other is what really matters in politics. Forget about policy differences and the future of our country. Let’s just have a nice picnic and pretend everything is rainbows and unicorns. Sounds like a great plan, Mr. President.

Written by Staff Reports

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