Biden’s Classified Blunders: Fact vs Fiction Debunked

Get ready for another fib-filled episode of “Joe Biden and the Classified Chronicles!” In this thrilling installment, President Biden tries to pull a fast one on the American people by falsely claiming that special counsel Robert Hur’s report cleared him of sharing classified information. Nice try, Sleepy Joe, but we aren’t buying it!


Attorney General Merrick Garland released the report on Biden’s classified document handling, and surprise, surprise, it turns out that the president has more memory problems than a malfunctioning computer. According to The New York Times, while Biden escaped criminal charges, the report did find that he had a knack for retaining classified information. Maybe he takes notes in his sleep or something. It’s truly a mystery.

But Biden, never one to let the truth get in the way of a good story, took to the White House podium to deny any wrongdoing. He declared, with all the conviction of a toddler caught with their hand in the cookie jar, that he never shared classified information with his ghostwriter. Not once. Nuh-uh. Cross his (forgetful) heart and hope to… well, forget, apparently.

Too bad for Biden, the facts just don’t line up with his tall tale. Hur’s report actually uncovered evidence that our beloved president willingly spilled the beans to his ghostwriter on multiple occasions. Oh, Joe. You really should’ve paid attention during those classified briefings. It’s like he thought sharing top-secret info was a fun little party trick. Not cool, Mr. President. Not cool at all.

Now, don’t go getting all worked up thinking Biden was handing out classified tidbits to foreign agents. The report did clarify that there’s no evidence of that, so at least he’s got that going for him. But come on, folks. Is it too much to ask for our Commander-in-Chief to keep classified information to himself? It’s like watching a James Bond movie where Bond accidentally tweets the villain’s evil plans. Talk about a plot twist.

Oh, and one last thing. The report mentions that Biden’s memoir, published in 2017, thankfully doesn’t contain any classified information. Phew! We can all rest easy knowing that the nation’s secrets haven’t ended up on the clearance rack of the nearest bookstore. But wait a minute… was Biden using those notebooks full of classified notes as inspiration for his book? It’s almost like he thought, “Hey, I’ve got all this juicy confidential stuff here. Why not spice up my memoir with a dash of top-secret flavor?” Cheeky move, Joe. Cheeky move indeed.

It’s clear as day that Biden’s claim of not sharing classified information is about as truthful as a fish who claims it’s never wet. The evidence proves that our president has been a bit too loose-lipped with sensitive material. So, next time you see Biden getting ready to spill the beans, just remember to cover your ears and say a little prayer for our national security. Lord knows we’ll need it.

Written by Staff Reports

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