Biden’s Secret Post-Debate Checkup Revealed Amid Team Confusion

President Joe Biden underwent a secret medical checkup right after his flop in the first 2024 presidential debate. Apparently, the same folks who were adamant he hadn’t seen a doctor since February are now backpedaling faster than a cyclist on a unicycle. Biden let this little nugget slip during a convening of Democratic governors right when his seat at the top of the Democratic ticket seemed to be wobbling like a Jenga tower.

During the meeting with over 20 governors, Biden proudly announced that doctors gave him a clean health bill after a recent checkup. He even indulged in some classic superstition by knocking on wood, likely hoping it would ward off any bad juju heading his way. White House spokesperson Andrew Bates then made it official, confirming the president’s exam early Thursday morning.

Bates conveniently said that the president had been under some weather and was now recovering following his checkup. This statement contrasts what White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has been parroting all week. Jean-Pierre had been steadfast, even blaming Biden’s debate performance on a cold while claiming his last exam was in February. This comedy of errors would be amusing if it weren’t so sad.

On Tuesday, Jean-Pierre found it ludicrous to suggest that Biden should undergo a neurological evaluation. Come Wednesday, she insisted she had consulted with Biden’s doctor, who allegedly affirmed that there hadn’t been any medical exam since February. Is anyone else’s nose growing a bit?

So here we are, with a president who can’t keep his calendar or medical records straight and a White House team spinning tales to protect him. One has to wonder if the next chapter in this saga will involve a rabbit’s foot, a horseshoe, or perhaps even a four-leaf clover to keep the gaffes at bay.

Written by Staff Reports

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