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Bipartisan Bros Offer Citizenship for Military Service? Doubts Loom!

In some very bizarre and frankly worrying news that sounds like something out of a far-fetched movie, two members of Congress who just so happen to be West Point buddies are teaming up to try and give immigrants a fast track to becoming American citizens all in the name of military service. Reps. Pat Ryan (D-NY) and John James (R-MI), those sneaky little devils, came together to introduce the “Courage to Serve Act,” which proposes a lightning-fast path to citizenship for “qualified and vetted migrants” who volunteer to serve in the U.S. military.

The bill is supposedly supposed to address the influx of migrants trying to come into the country and the struggle the military is having with finding new recruits. But can we really trust two guys who are rekindling their old college friendship in such a tumultuous and heated political climate? This smells fishier than a plate of yesterday’s catch.

Ryan and James, in a classic case of buddy-buddy teamwork, said that they know exactly what they’re doing (insert eye-roll here) because they both experienced the “honor” of serving in the military. Ryan went on to say that serving in the military is the highest honor, so if these migrants are brave enough to put their lives on the line, they deserve the gift of American citizenship. Really, Ryan? These guys can’t just waltz in and claim entitlements like they’re the kings of the castle.

The bill would create a test run program for immigrants to get a fast-track to citizenship if they pass a barrage of background checks and prove they are eligible to enlist. And in case you were wondering about the military’s side of things, James says that in 2022, the Army missed its recruiting goal by a mere 25%, and the other branches of the military also came up short on their recruiting numbers. You know what this means, right? We’re in big trouble, folks.

While the Senate Republicans wisely put the kibosh on a $118 billion bipartisan border security bill (thank goodness for some sanity!), that didn’t stop Ryan from signaling that he’s not giving up his fight to make immigration reform happen. What a stubborn fella. He’s been trying to make peace with the Republicans on the other side of the aisle this whole year, and he’s even been joining up with his local Republican comrades to call the immigrant surge in New York “untenable.” At least someone recognizes it.

So, whether it’s old college friends sticking together or a noble effort to get more bodies in uniform, it seems like Ryan and James are determined to fight tooth and nail for their Courage to Serve Act. But the big question remains: Can we really trust these two congressional colleagues who are as thick as thieves to be tinkering around with immigration and military matters? Only time will tell.

Written by Staff Reports

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