Staff Reports
The United States Census is getting a little nosy, folks! According to some fancy folks at The Associated Press, they’re planning to add some new questions to the survey. Brace yourselves, because this might just blow your mind: they want to ask about gender identity and sexual orientation! Can you believe it? It’s like they’re trying to step into everyone’s bedrooms and make things all complicated.
Now, don’t get the wrong idea. The Census isn’t planning to knock on your door and personally interrogate you about your private life (at least, not yet). They’ll be sending these questions to around 480,000 households, and you can answer them online, by mail, over the phone, or in person. But get this, only half of the households are expected to respond. Maybe people are starting to realize that their personal business should stay personal.
US Census To Ask Questions On Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation For First Time https://t.co/kekop0g3L2
— Biff Smallberries (@B_Smallberries) February 16, 2024
So, here’s the scoop: the first question will ask if you were assigned male or female at birth. No big deal, right? But then, if you’re 15 or older, things get real interesting. They want to know your current gender identity. They’re options include male, female, transgender, nonbinary, or “This person uses a different term.” Can you believe they’re offering up all these fancy terms? It’s like alphabet soup!
And that’s not all, folks. The second set of questions is all about sexual orientation. They want to know how you think of yourself. Your options are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or, you guessed it, “This person uses a different term.” They even give you a space to write your own answer. Well, ain’t that special?
Now, the Census Bureau says they’re considering using flash cards during the survey to protect everyone’s privacy. They’re also thinking about using numbered response categories so your nosy neighbor won’t know what you put down. I guess they’re finally realizing that maybe people don’t want everyone in town knowing their business.
But here’s the kicker, folks. The Census workers aren’t required to ask if you’re a U.S. citizen. Can you believe it? Thankfully, some smart GOP senators are on the case. They’ve introduced legislation to make sure that question gets asked. Because, you know, we can’t have those non-citizens messing up our congressional and electoral apportionments. We need to know who’s a real American and who’s just playing make-believe.
In any case, the U.S. Census Bureau didn’t respond to the Daily Caller News Foundation’s request for comment. Maybe they’re too busy coming up with more invasive questions for the next survey. Who knows? But one thing’s for sure, folks: the government wants to know everything about you, and it’s up to us to put a stop to it. So keep your private life private, and don’t let those nosy bureaucrats pry into your business.
