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Dems in Disarray: Primary Panic as Tradition Toppled!

It’s been a wild ride, folks! The Democrats have been scrambling like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off over who gets to go first in the primary schedule. As if they weren’t chaotic enough already! Can you believe it? The audacity to mess with tradition! But, fear not, dear readers, your trusty news writer is here to break it all down for you.

Now, let’s kick things off in the great state of Iowa. The Democrats wanted to shake things up by shuffling the schedule around, but Iowa Republicans are standing strong and keeping their caucus as the first nominating contest in the country. You go, Iowa Republicans! Meanwhile, the Democratic caucus won’t be happening until March 5, and as if that wasn’t enough, Iowa officials are already begging for an earlier contest in 2028. Talk about desperate!

But wait, it gets even juicier. New Hampshire, the beloved first in the nation primary state, is not taking the DNC’s shenanigans lying down. They’ve officially announced that their primary will take place on January 23, making it clear that they won’t be pushed around. Take that, DNC! And to add insult to injury, President Joe Biden won’t even be on the ballot in New Hampshire. His campaign decided he’s too good for it, but don’t worry, his die-hard fans are planning a write-in campaign. Good luck with that, folks!

Now, let’s talk about South Carolina, the new “chosen one” according to the Democrats. They’re all in a tizzy over there because they think making the schedule about diversity is a stroke of genius. And conveniently enough, Democratic Rep. Jim Clyburn, who helped Biden secure the nomination in 2020, hails from South Carolina. Coincidence? We think not! It looks like the Democrats are playing favorites again, and it stinks worse than a rotten egg.

But here’s the kicker, folks. Democratic Rep. Dean Phillips of Minnesota and other New Hampshire Democrats are fed up with the DNC’s meddling. They’re not having it, and they want to keep New Hampshire’s first in the nation status. Even the New Hampshire Senate unanimously backed a proposal to make their primary date part of the state constitution. Take that, DNC! And to top it all off, the Iowa Democrats have surrendered and moved their caucus to Super Tuesday in 2024. Pathetic!

In summary, the Democrats are in complete disarray, trying to mix things up and failing miserably. The Republicans are standing strong, and New Hampshire is sticking it to the DNC. It’s like a political soap opera, folks, and we’ll be sure to keep you updated on all the drama as it unfolds. Stay tuned!

Written by Staff Reports

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