Staff Reports
In the world of politics, where numbers should represent clear truths, some leaders choose to employ what can only be described as “girl math”—a whimsical brand of accounting that takes logical reasoning and tosses it out the window. For those unaware, girl math is less about arithmetic and more about creative mental gymnastics. It’s a way to turn penny-pinching into big savings simply by redefining what spending means. This absurdity has now transcended shopping and found its way into governance, exemplified by none other than New York Governor Kathy Hochul.
Recently, Governor Hochul held a press conference to announce her grand scheme for saving hardworking New Yorkers a whopping $1,500 a year. One would think she must have found a hole in the state budget or perhaps unearthed a lost treasure. But alas, the news was less of a revelation and more of a rebranding of a hefty new toll. Instead of rolling out a congestion pricing plan that would have charged commuters $15, she decided, in a burst of benevolence, to bring the rate down to $9. Voilà! New Yorkers are being saved exactly $6 every time they pass through the toll—significantly more than they were “about to” pay.
So, in Hochul’s world of financial finesse, it seems that one could actually ‘earn’ money by spending it. You see, by imposing a toll that could have theoretically been much worse, she positions herself as a champion of fiscal responsibility. It begs the question: What kind of logic is at play here? If we’re supposed to celebrate a $9 toll because it could have been higher, perhaps we should applaud the New York Lottery for “saving” players by only extracting a small fraction of their bankroll rather than demanding full submissions upfront. After all, they could have just taken everything!
This skewed perception is reminiscent of the twisted logic politicians often use when discussing taxes. Citizens might see a tax refund as a gift from Uncle Sam, curiously ignoring the fact that it’s merely a return of their own money. Just like girl math, the government seems to thrive on a theory that skirts the boundaries of reason, all while the populace either claps in gratitude or, more troubling, remain blissfully unaware of their financial realities.
Let’s talk about reality for a moment. Daily commuters in New York will still be out $9 every time they hit the toll booth. Stunningly, this “calculated saving” is about as helpful as concluding that because the sky could be green on Tuesday, citizens should rejoice over a cloudy day on Monday. Hochul’s method of governance gives the impression that she’s peddling a discount on misery, all while making it sound like she’s delivering a brilliant deal. Perhaps we should be expecting similar revelations next, such as how sitting in four hours of traffic is a wholesome experience because no one is charging us a “sit in traffic” fee.
It’s crucial to recognize the impact of such “math” on society. Leadership that uses questionable logic to pander to constituents not only breeds skepticism but also erodes trust. Hochul may be counting on the idea that most individuals won’t question the arithmetic of her announcements, but the fabric of responsible governance relies heavily on transparent and honest dialogue. If the so-called savings are just elaborate smoke and mirrors, they risk ushering in deep cynicism about public service, making it harder for any leader to earn public trust in the future.
In this climate of “girl math” politics, where leaders find innovative ways to spin their narratives and repackage a financial burden as a beneficial discount, citizens need to remain vigilant. The magic of numbers can indeed produce illusion, but the reality of spending—especially at the hands of government—should always be scrutinized. Hochul’s concoction of “savings” serves as a reminder that sometimes, the best savings are simply not spending at all. Unfortunately, in the fantastical arithmetic realm they inhabit, such common sense might just be the most radical notion of all.
