Staff Reports
Kamala Harris and her trusty sidekick, Tim Walz, took a little joyride through Western Pennsylvania, one day before the Democratic National Convention—an event that might as well be renamed “Kamala’s Carnival of Confusion.” This tour was basically a gently-paced version of the big circus expected in Chicago, dressed up with some small-town charm and plenty of incoherent chatter.
The dynamic duo made a pit stop to excite some campaign volunteers and fluff the spirits of a local high school football team. It was a family affair too, as their spouses joined the merriment, taking everyone along for the ride in a blue campaign bus that could be mistaken for the latest attraction at a community fair. They dutifully visited some volunteers not far from Pittsburgh, made their way to a firehouse, touched down at a local high school, and even made a pilgrimage to a Sheetz convenience store—because nothing says grassroots campaigning quite like a stop for delicious sandwiches and milkshakes.
Kamala word salads are so back: "Our election is about understanding the importance of this beautiful country of ours in terms of what we stand for around the globe as a democracy. As a democracy, we know there's a duality to the nature of democracy. On the one hand, incredible… pic.twitter.com/GeMmgVESFk
— Greg Price (@greg_price11) August 18, 2024
What’s priceless is how Harris and Walz opted for a buffet of platitudes over actual policies during this tour. They were all about the “inspiring” Pinterest quotes, steering clear of anything that might require a firm grasp of political realities. Instead, they fed the crowd a steady diet of feel-good messages about character and perseverance. Because, you know, who needs actionable plans when you have an abundance of vague optimism?
One might wonder why they skirted most media interviews. Perhaps it was to avoid putting Harris in front of a microphone with no teleprompter in sight. When she took the stage imparting wisdom on the nature of democracy—a concept she seems to struggle with—viewers got another round of that infamous Kamala word salad. Her explanation teetered between lofty ideals and sheer befuddlement, leaving many wondering if they accidentally tuned into an avant-garde performance piece rather than a political campaign stop.
As for her appearance at the local high school, one could only cringe while listening to her sage advice for the football team: “You will be undefeated even if you don’t win every game.” Sure, that’ll pump up a team’s morale. If coaches are still breathing after that, they might take comfort knowing the vice president is their biggest supporter, if not the most qualified one. It’s clear the show is on, and Harris is eagerly channeling her best Selina Meyer impression, providing a prime example of how confusing the Democratic message really is.
