White House in Disarray: Admits Losing Count of Captive Americans!

In a shocking turn of events, the White House has finally come clean about their blunder in underestimating the number of American hostages held by the terrorist group Hamas. It turns out that the Biden administration had been miscalculating the figures, and it was only today that they owned up to their mistake. It’s no wonder why they’ve been hailed as the kings of misinformation!

The Israeli military announced the tragic death of Itay Chen, an Israeli American member of the Israel Defense Forces, at the hands of Hamas, who are still holding his body captive in Gaza. This news has sent shockwaves through the White House, and National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan reluctantly confirmed the grim reality during a press briefing.

Sullivan, in a rare moment of honesty, expressed the deep impact of this news on the president and the rest of the administration. He painted a picture of heartbreak and despair, making sure the reporters knew just how much this news affected everyone, even those “you guys have never heard of in the U.S. government.” He continued to lay it on thick, expressing his sympathy for the family and emphasizing the government’s tireless efforts to secure Chen’s release.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more embarrassing for the Biden administration, Sullivan reveals the shocking truth that they have been clueless about the condition of the hostages all along! That’s right, folks, they have no idea if they’re even alive, healthy, or if their injuries are a cause for concern. What a confidence booster for the American people, knowing that their government is completely in the dark about the fate of their fellow citizens!

But wait, there’s more! After some intense questioning, Sullivan stumbled over his words as he tried to clarify the number of hostages being held by Hamas. Now, apparently, it’s down to five, not six as they previously claimed. What a mess! It’s no wonder the American people have trust issues when their own government can’t keep track of something as crucial as their citizens being held captive by terrorists.

The video of the briefing speaks for itself. Check it out if you want to witness the White House’s blunder firsthand. It’s a real treat!

Written by Staff Reports

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