White House Rejects Calls for Biden Cognitive Tests Amid Growing Doubts

President Joe Biden’s cognitive prowess continues to dodge the spotlight, despite growing concerns about his mental state. The White House, in another acrobatic performance of denial, declared on Tuesday that Biden would not be subjected to any cognitive tests and confidently asserted that he neither has Alzheimer’s disease nor dementia. That’s right folks, the official narrative is that the stumbling senior is as sharp as a tack.

The chaos began to unfurl after Biden’s infamous performance during the last presidential debate. His halting and fumbling delivery left Americans questioning whether he was auditioning for a role in a geriatric drama rather than vying for the highest office in the land. This disastrous debate appearance has set the Democratic camp into a tizzy, with whispers already circulating about the possibility of replacing him on the ticket.

During a press briefing, a reporter daringly inquired if the president’s team would consider releasing a more “robust” set of medical records to quell the growing doubts about his mental acuity. Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre swiftly brushed off the notion, touting the thoroughness of the existing annual health report and insisting that no additional documentation is warranted. One wonders if she expects Americans to just take her word for it. 


Jean-Pierre leaned heavily on a February report from Biden’s personal physician, Dr. Kevin O’Connor. According to this report, President Biden remains fit for duty and executes all responsibilities without any exceptions or accommodations. Yet, questions linger about whether the good doctor’s assessment still holds water, especially after the president’s recent public blunders.

Inquiries about the necessity of a new test post-debate were met with the same relentless denial. Jean-Pierre assured the press that the president’s routine physicals and their corresponding reports should suffice. Because clearly, an annual check-up is enough to convince the nation that an 81-year-old, showing signs of cognitive decline, is entirely fit to lead.

The Democratic house of cards is visibly wobbling as concerns about Biden’s fitness for office gain traction. With even prominent figures like Rep. Lloyd Doggett and Rep. Jared Golden casting doubt and predicting a Trump victory, it’s no surprise the party is scrambling for damage control. O’Connor, who apparently moonlights as a traveling companion, remains convinced of Biden’s capabilities, while Jean-Pierre dismisses the need for further testing, noting that February wasn’t all that long ago.

One reporter took it a step further by bluntly asking if Biden suffers from any form of degenerative illness. Jean-Pierre, in her usual dismissive style, sarcastically remarked that the answer was a resounding “no” and added a jab asking if the same scrutiny was being directed at President Trump. The ongoing saga promises more amusement as both sides gear up for the next political showdown.

Written by Staff Reports

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