Biden Blames Debate Performance on Cold and Travel Fatigue

Excuses, excuses: It looks like the excuse du jour from the Biden Administration is a concoction of sniffles and jet lag. According to White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, President Joe Biden’s abysmal performance at the first 2024 presidential debate supposedly stemmed from a cold and the grueling rigors of his world travels. One might wonder if Air Force One needs better in-flight entertainment or if Joe’s frequent flyer miles come with a dose of mental clarity.

Not surprisingly, Biden was in damage control mode on Wednesday, scrambling to convince Democratic power brokers that he remains the knight in shining armor for their floundering party. He spent the day making calls to senior lawmakers, conducting an all-staff briefing for his 2024 campaign and the Democratic National Committee, and hosting a cozy get-together with Democratic governors at the White House. Nothing screams confidence like having to reassure your own team that you’re still fit for the job.

Jean-Pierre became the poster child for denial at Wednesday’s press briefing, facing a torrent of questions about Biden’s fitness to remain in the race. She clung to the narrative that it was merely a bad night and that Biden isn’t about to throw in the towel over a little cold. Apparently, perseverance in the face of a sniffle is this administration’s badge of honor. “He pushed through,” she boasted, as if that were a Herculean feat rather than proof of his dwindling stamina.

The press secretary doubled down, almost romanticizing Biden’s ailment. She praised the president’s supposed fight for the American people, suggesting anyone who deals with a cold— even one in the Oval Office—deserves a medal. “When you get knocked down, you get back up,” she parroted, though she left out the part about being knocked down by mere germs and the weight of decades in politics.

Even so, Jean-Pierre had to admit that the days following the debate had been “challenging” for Team Biden. White House chief of staff Jeff Zients chimed in, rallying the troops with a morale-boosting call to “remain united” and dismiss the “noise” surrounding the president’s capabilities. How reassuring to know that the chorus of concern over Biden’s tenure is just static to be tuned out.

When pressed about Biden’s mental sharpness, Jean-Pierre insisted the president is as sharp as ever. Clearly, “sharp” is a relative term in this administration, and if their idea of mental acuity includes slurring speech and confused ramblings, then America should brace itself.

Written by Staff Reports

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Biden on Brink as Allies and Dems Question Viability

Biden’s Political Career Is DOA, But Dems Keep Fiddling as Ship Sinks