Staff Reports
Oh boy, hold onto your hats because we’ve got some breaking news about our favorite fumbling president, Joe Biden! It seems that after his countless trips and stumbles up the steps of Air Force One, the Biden Administration has finally come up with a plan to save his pride (and his knees). Brace yourselves, folks, because President Biden will now be using a shorter staircase to board the presidential aircraft. Yes, you heard that right, a shorter staircase!
According to those sneaky folks over at Politico, this change is all part of an “intentional shift” to make it easier for our 80-year-old commander-in-chief to climb a single set of stairs. Now, I’m all for accommodating our elder statesmen, but shouldn’t we expect a president to be able to conquer a full flight of stairs without breaking a sweat? It seems like a pretty low bar to set, if you ask me.
Biden WH Changes How the President Boards Air Force One After Series of Humiliating Trips Up the Stairs https://t.co/1SgENgCsCg
— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) July 21, 2023
But wait, there’s more! Apparently, President Biden has also ditched his fancy dress shoes in favor of sneakers when boarding Air Force One. Now, I gotta say, I never thought I’d see the day when the leader of the free world would rock a pair of kicks like some kind of rebellious teenager. But hey, when you’re doing your best impression of a geriatric acrobat, I guess comfort comes first, right?
Last week’s debacle in Helsinki was just the cherry on top of a steep staircase of embarrassing moments for Biden. He struggled to make it even halfway up the stairs before taking a tumble, making it at least the fourth time he’s had a similar mishap. I mean, how many more trips and falls do we have to witness before we start to question whether he’s fit for the job?
When confronted with questions about Biden’s “mobility problems,” White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre did what she does best: deflect and gloss over the issue. But let’s call a spade a spade – using shorter stairs is a clear acknowledgment that the president is having difficulty with basic motor skills. It’s like putting training wheels on a bike for a grown man!
Politico also mentioned how Biden’s aides have been working overtime to shield him from any situations where his physical frailty might be on display. But isn’t that what we elect a president for? To be a strong and capable leader, not someone who needs to be coddled and protected at every turn?
Now, I know there will be those who defend Biden and claim that age is just a number. But come on, folks! We’re not talking about someone who’s just a little past their prime. We’re talking about an 80-year-old who can barely navigate a set of stairs without stumbling. It’s about time we acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, he’s not up to the task of being president for another four years.
But hey, don’t take my word for it. Biden himself has boasted that his age gives him an advantage because he knows “more than the vast majority of people.” Well, Mr. President, I hate to break it to you, but knowledge alone doesn’t make a great leader. It takes strength, vitality, and the ability to, you know, walk upright without needing a short staircase or a pair of sneakers.
So there you have it, folks. Our stumbling president has found a solution to his staircase woes: shorter steps and a snazzy pair of sneakers. But no amount of clever adjustments can hide the fact that President Biden’s physical fitness is a cause for concern. Perhaps it’s time we start asking ourselves if we really want a leader who takes more tumbles than a rookie ice skater.
