Staff Reports
In a bold move to protect American stomachs from potential Communist China cooties, Senator Rick Scott (R-FL) has called for an investigation into the safety of garlic imported from the totalitarian regime. Using his power under the Trade Expansion Act of 1962, he is demanding that Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo launch an inquiry into the garlic grown in China.
GOP Senator Calls for Investigation Into Chinese 'Sewage Garlic'
https://t.co/e0xnKH8Eve— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) December 9, 2023
Now, you might be thinking, “Garlic? What’s the big deal?” Well, buckle up, because Senator Scott has some shocking allegations. He claims that China is using human feces as fertilizer for their garlic crops. That’s right, folks, they’re growing garlic in sewage! And if that’s not enough to make you lose your appetite, they’re also bleaching the garlic to make it appear cleaner. I don’t know about you, but I like my garlic without a side of chemicals, thank you very much.
But the horror doesn’t stop there. Scott also alleges that the garlic is being harvested in abhorrent conditions, often with slave labor. Yes, you heard that right. People are being forced to work in the fields so we can have our garlic bread. It’s enough to make you want to trade in your spaghetti for a plain bowl of oatmeal.
Now, some people might say, “Well, this is just garlic. It’s not like it’s a major national security issue.” But let me tell you, food safety is no laughing matter. If we can’t trust the garlic we buy at the supermarket, how can we trust anything else? Our nation’s security, our economy, and our public health are all at risk if we don’t take this seriously.
That’s why Senator Scott is introducing not one, but two bills to address this pressing issue. The Sewage Garlic Imports Act will crack down on the importation of contaminated garlic, while the Sewage Garlic Imports Tariff Act will impose tariffs on garlic from China to protect American growers. It’s time to root out the rotten garlic and restore integrity to our food supply.
Some might argue that this is just another example of Republicans being too tough on China. But let me tell you, my friend, it’s about time someone stood up to the Communist regime. They’ve been taking advantage of us for too long, flooding our markets with cheap, unsafe products. It’s time to put America first.
So the next time you reach for that bulb of garlic at the grocery store, think about where it came from. Do you really want to risk your health, your national security, and your taste buds for a few extra pennies? I didn’t think so. Let’s support Senator Rick Scott in his fight for safe, American-grown garlic. Our stomachs will thank us.
