Staff Reports
The federal judiciary has finally decided to put an end to the absurd practice of judge shopping, much to the relief of level-headed Americans everywhere. This ridiculous strategy, where sneaky litigants pick and choose which judge they want to hear their case, has been a thorn in the side of fairness for far too long. But fear not, dear readers, for the Judicial Conference of the United States has swooped in to save the day with a new rule that will put an end to this nonsense.
The advisory body of the federal judiciary made the announcement following its semiannual meeting, declaring that certain cases will now be randomly assigned to a judge within an entire district rather than just within the division where the lawsuits are filed. This common-sense approach aims to ensure that cases are not cherry-picked to land in front of a certain judge, thus ensuring a fair and impartial hearing for all parties involved.
U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit Judge Jeff Sutton, who chairs the Executive Committee of the Judicial Conference, explained that the new rule is especially important when dealing with nationwide or statewide injunctions. After all, it’s a bit silly to insist that a case that affects an entire state or even the whole country should be limited to one small division within a state. It’s about time that someone stepped in to put an end to this slippery maneuvering.
The issue of judge shopping is particularly associated with patent cases, with Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts expressing his concern about an effort to funnel national patent cases to specific judges in Texas. The Judicial Conference rightly called out the shenanigans of left-leaning and Democratic groups during the Trump administration, who were accused of forum shopping to land before sympathetic judges. This is nothing short of an affront to the fair and just legal process.
Even the Democrats have been unable to deny the shady nature of judge shopping, with Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Dick Durbin and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer raising their voices in concern. It’s clear that this issue transcends partisan lines, with Senators Thom Tillis and Pat Leahy outlining their concerns about the concentration of patent cases being filed in single-judge divisions. Finally, some bipartisan common sense!
So fear not, fellow Americans, for the federal judiciary is taking a stand against this egregious practice. The days of manipulating the system to land before a favorable judge are coming to an end, thanks to the swift and decisive action of the Judicial Conference. It’s high time we put an end to this tomfoolery and ensure that the scales of justice are balanced once and for all.
