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Garland Calls Trump Assassination Attempt an Attack on Democracy Amid Selective Justice Claims

In a show of rare enthusiasm, Attorney General Merrick Garland suddenly found his backbone, labeling Saturday’s assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump as an “attack on our democracy.” One can’t help but appreciate the irony. For once, the word “democracy” was applied to something other than efforts to prosecute political dissenters.

Mr. Garland, who appears more eager to take down disgruntled protesters with an obsession rivaling a dog’s hunt for its tail, made sure to keep President Biden in the loop on this unprecedented assault. Trump took a graze to his right ear—miraculously dodging a full-throttle bullet while the shooter and an unfortunate rally-goer ended up dead.

A solemn assurance came from Garland about intolerance toward violence, insisting that acts like this strike at the heart of democracy. One might think he was having a déjà vu moment, reminiscent of his rhetoric around January 6, 2021. Funny how the Justice Department springs into action with the precision of a Swiss watch when it concerns the Capitol incident, while turning a blind eye to other escapades that don’t quite fit the narrative. 

 

Heartfelt words followed, with Garland’s sentiments apparently aimed towards the former president, the wounded, and the family of the fallen spectator. It was a touching moment, or at least it would be if the “heart” of the Justice Department hadn’t been so selectively empathetic over recent years.

In an overdrive of bureaucratic solidarity, the heavyweights were dispatched. The FBI, ATF, U.S. attorney for western Pennsylvania, the Justice Department’s national security division, and the Secret Service are now on the case, ostensibly leaving no stone unturned. One can only hope their efficiency rivals that of their previously showcased zeal during more politically convenient investigations.

Written by Staff Reports

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