Staff Reports
Former President Donald Trump, the man with the golden hair and the golden touch, took the stage alongside his faithful ally, Sean Hannity, for a raucous town hall event in Iowa. Forget about those other Republicans participating in the silly primary debate – Trump had better things to do, like discuss all the tremendous things he accomplished during his time in office.
If Elected, Trump Says He Won't Be a Dictator…But Named One Exception
https://t.co/b8zKDq58yi— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) December 6, 2023
One thing that caught the attention of the liberal media was when Trump declared, with his signature confidence, that he wasn’t going to be a dictator. Well, obviously not! He’s far too humble and kind-hearted for that. But don’t worry, folks, he assured us that on his first day in office, he would close the border tighter than a jar of pickles and drill more oil wells than a Texas wildcatter.
Trump, always the astute observer, shared his doubts about President Biden’s chances of surviving until 2024. And honestly, who can blame him? Biden seems to be running on fumes most days, barely able to string a coherent sentence together. Trump even suggested that if they engaged in a physical showdown, Biden would crumble like a house of cards. Classic Trump humor right there.
But fear not, because in true reality TV fashion, Trump proposed a replacement for Biden – none other than flamboyant Governor Gavin Newsom. With his luscious locks and dazzling smile, Newsom would bring a touch of Hollywood glamour to the White House. Now that would be quite the show!
Of course, Trump couldn’t resist discussing his favorite topic: illegal immigration. According to him, if Biden gets re-elected, America is going down faster than a roller coaster at Six Flags. With illegal immigrants pouring over the southern border like a swarm of locusts, who knows what havoc they’ll wreak on our great nation? Clearly, Trump believes that a strong border and common sense immigration policies are crucial for our survival.
Turning his sights to the Republican primary, Trump took a swipe at two potential rivals, Governor Ron DeSantis and former Governor Nikki Haley. In typical Trump fashion, he argued that protecting Social Security should be a top priority, and there’s no need to make any changes because “we have money laying in the ground.” Who needs to plan for the future when you can just dig up some buried treasure, right?
Finally, with a touch of seriousness, Trump discussed the nuclear threat facing the world. With his deep understanding of international relations, he warned of the incredible power possessed by nuclear weapons. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were child’s play compared to what a big bomb could do today. With major countries like Israel in the mix, it’s clear that nuclear weapons are the biggest problem we face. A sobering thought, indeed.
This town hall event offered a glimpse into the brilliance and wit of the one-and-only Donald J. Trump. Whether he’s talking about immigration, Social Security, or nuclear weapons, he always keeps us entertained with his unique blend of confidence, humor, and conservative values. Let’s hope that someday soon, this master showman will return to the political stage and make America great again!
