Staff Reports
Hold onto your MAGA hats, folks! The White House had quite the Sunday Funday when it had to be evacuated due to a mysterious object lurking on the premises. It’s like an episode of “CSI: Pennsylvania Avenue” up in here!
BREAKING: DC Fire Hazmat Crews Find Cocaine Hydrochloride Near White House https://t.co/nAF8orDX3e
— The Gateway Pundit (@gatewaypundit) July 3, 2023
According to those trusty men in dark sunglasses, the U.S. Secret Service discovered an unknown item on the White House complex. Talk about a plot twist! But hey, it’s always better to be safe than sorry when you’re guarding the most powerful person in the free world.
The U.S. Secret Service has closed several roads near the White House due to the presence of unknown substances near the White House, the reason for this is not yet known.#WhiteHouse #UnitedStates pic.twitter.com/FTUvmT6g9Z
— Ahmad (@its_Ahmad_Word) July 3, 2023
BREAKING: Cocaine Hydrochloride spotted near West Executive Wing pic.twitter.com/cJLr2rnEDU
— The Triune Times (@TriuneTimes) July 3, 2023
Some druggy dropped his dope and caused a White House evacuation? https://t.co/nigJ7RJ30x
— Jenna Ellis (@JennaEllisEsq) July 3, 2023
As a precautionary measure, the White House grounds were evacuated, causing quite the commotion. Traffic was getting all blocked up around the area, making politicians late for yet another Congressional hearing. Oh, the horror!
But here’s where things took a twist worthy of a Hollywood thriller. A leaked audio clip from the District of Columbia Fire and Emergency Medical Services reveals that the suspicious substance…wait for it…was cocaine hydrochloride! You know, just your typical everyday find at the White House. Move over, Lincoln’s ghost, we’ve got a new haunting!
Now, some might say it’s just a harmless coincidence, but PJ Media’s Matt Margolis suggests otherwise. He’s got his conspiracy theory antennas up and pointing directly at none other than Hunter Biden. That’s right, folks, the same Hunter Biden who was recently at the White House for a state dinner. It’s like a buffet of drama and scandal in our own backyard!
But hey, who can blame Margolis for connecting the dots? Hunter Biden has a laundry list of well-documented drug abuse, which we all know thanks to a laptop full of scandalous videos and pictures. The guy even got caught illegally purchasing a firearm while he was addicted to crack. Talk about a family portrait!
So, what can we conclude from all this chaos? Well, either the White House has a few part-time club promoters on staff, or there’s a dark side to Sunday brunches at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. We’ll let you decide, but one thing’s for sure: The liberal media won’t tell you the truth. Thank goodness for the real patriots who bring us the scoop!
