Apple Beats Epic Games in SCOTUS Showdown: Free Market Wins!

In a victory for common sense and free market principles, the Supreme Court has handed a legal win to the tech giant Apple in its ongoing antitrust battle. That’s right, folks – take that, big government! According to those intellectual powerhouses at the Washington Examiner, Apple has been given the green light to continue using its current payment store practices. Cue the applause for capitalism!

This whole dispute started back in 2020 when Epic Games, the creator of the popular video game “Fortnight,” decided to throw a tantrum and allow its players to purchase in-game currency outside of Apple’s platform. Can you believe the audacity? By doing this, Epic Games was trying to avoid the 30% markup that Apple charged for in-app purchases. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

Well, Apple wasn’t about to take this lying down. They booted “Fortnight” off their app store faster than you can say “greedy game developers.” And honestly, who can blame them? It’s their platform, their rules. But of course, Epic Games didn’t see it that way. They decided to sue Apple, claiming that the Big A has an illegal “absolute monopoly.” Oh, the melodrama!

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. A lower court did find Apple in breach of California’s Unfair Competition Act because apparently, protecting your own business interests is now deemed unfair. But fear not, my fellow conservatives – the Supreme Court saw through this nonsense and refused to uphold an injunction against Apple. Hooray for limited government and personal responsibility!

You might be wondering why any of this matters to us normal folks. Well, buckle up, because it turns out this case has implications for cryptocurrency traders. Who would have thought? But don’t worry, conservatives. If we keep fighting for free markets and limited government, we can protect our wallets from the clutches of Big Tech and their sneaky schemes.

So there you have it, folks. Apple has emerged victorious in its battle against the whiny, entitled Epic Games. It’s a win for capitalism, common sense, and the American way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to enjoy some in-app purchases without breaking the bank. Stay conservative, my friends!

Written by Staff Reports

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