Biden Dreads Debate Topics as Rematch with Trump Looms

President Joe Biden’s upcoming debate rematch with former President Donald Trump is shaping up to be the political equivalent of a pay-per-view heavyweight fight, with both camps longing for a knockout. Inside leaks and whispers from the Biden camp reveal a desperate attempt to steer the conversation in directions that might paint Joe in a slightly less dismal hue.

Good old Scranton Joe wants to wax poetic about employment. The administration heralds supposedly record-setting job numbers like a parade of unicorns, at each step chanting about the “great American comeback.” Biden would have everyone believe he single-handedly resurrected an economy that was ravaged by COVID-19 and not by his own mishandling. Yet, the esteemed Heritage Foundation threw cold water on those dreamy job numbers, pointing out that one in four “new” jobs appear to be vaporware – just like Hunter’s laptop, but with fewer international wire transfers.

Topic to dodge? Israel and Gaza. Biden’s performance on this front is akin to a circus trapeze act without a safety net. Following Hamas’s deadly assault on Israel, Biden has been walking the tightrope – leaning slightly here to appease his progressive wing who accuse him of enabling genocide, then leaning slightly there to placate centrist and Jewish Democrats who think he’s thrown Israel to the wolves. Meanwhile, Trump’s clear, decisive support for Israel makes Biden look like he’s trying to navigate a two-person canoe with his hands tied behind his back. So, it’s no surprise Biden would rather talk about his favorite ice cream flavor than touch this hot potato.

Abortion, the Democratic darling of wedge issues, is another favorite talking point for Biden. Despite Trump’s nuanced stance on the matter, Joe is determined to tie him to draconian abortion bans like an overzealous magician performing a rope trick. The truth is, Biden’s strategy here is simple: drum up enough fear to rally his base, regardless of Trump’s actual record or position. Never let the facts get in the way of a good scare tactic.

And then there’s immigration, the issue Biden would prefer to avoid like a “no malarkey” bus tour through a red state. Trump’s firm stance and action on border security versus Biden’s porous policy have led to more illegal crossings than a game of Frogger. Despite Biden’s excuses blaming Republicans and Trump for his border woes, the numbers and public opinion tell a different story. Any debate spotlight on immigration will likely cast Biden in the harsh, unflattering glow of his administration’s failures.

In the end, Biden and his handlers are trying to stage manage the debate like a Broadway play, hoping to avoid the pitfalls and potholes that naturally come with a floundering presidency. Trump’s straightforward approach will surely expose any attempts at smoke and mirrors – a stark reality check for an administration better suited to make-believe than actual governance.

Written by Staff Reports

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