Staff Reports
As America gears up to celebrate its 247th birthday this Independence Day, there’s one thing that comes to mind – baseball, America’s pastime! And while Duke here at RedState would much rather talk about baseball than the latest Hunter Biden scandal or Taylor Swift’s love life, he couldn’t help but be intrigued and appalled by the news he stumbled upon.
It turns out that the Detroit Tigers, Duke’s beloved hometown team, are teaming up with Pepsi to create a new condiment called “colachup.” Yes, you read that right, Pepsi-flavored ketchup. Now, Duke is no stranger to a good old-fashioned hot dog slathered in ketchup and all the fixings, but this concoction seems like a food-driven curveball that might be just too intimidating to handle.
Sure, Duke has been known to get into heated debates about putting ketchup on hot dogs, firmly believing that it’s as American as apple pie and Chevrolet. But mixing soda pop into a condiment? That’s a whole new level of culinary experimentation. He recalls a time when he tried a Coney paczki (a hot dog with chili, mustard, and onions in a fat and jelly donut) and was both thoroughly disgusted and pleasantly surprised. Could the “colachup” on a Comerica Park hot dog have a similar effect?
But let’s be real, Duke’s main motivation for giving this Pepsi-ketchup combo a try is his love for baseball, and any excuse to go to a game is a damn good excuse. And if the “colachup” doesn’t deliver on taste, he’s got his trusty American beer to wash it down.
So, Duke is willing to be the guinea pig for this new twist on an American classic. But should he be cautious? After all, he knows firsthand that sometimes things that sound bizarre turn out to be surprisingly delicious. And he does love a good surprise. Well, with baseball in his heart and hot dogs on his mind, Duke is ready to take one for the team and give “colachup” a go.
Stay tuned for Duke’s report on how this bold experiment unfolds. And if you have any suggestions or thoughts for him, you can find his contact information in his bio below. Let’s see if Pepsi-flavored ketchup on a hot dog can truly take America’s pastime to a whole new level.
God bless baseball, hot dogs, and the good old U.S. of A!
Pepsi-Flavored Ketchup on Your Hot Dog for Independence Day? Detroit Tigers Are Game for It https://t.co/Wpvin9UpKA
— RedState (@RedState) June 29, 2023
**Editorial Opinion: Okay, let’s be real here. Mixing Pepsi into ketchup sounds like a crime against hot dogs. Ketchup is a sacred condiment that should be enjoyed in its purest form, without any fizzy interference. This “colachup” nonsense is just another example of the absurd food trends that make Duke shake his head. Stick to the classic ketchup, mustard, and relish combo, and leave the sodas where they belong – in a cold glass on a hot summer day.
Source: Red State
