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DNC Scrambles to Secure Biden Nomination Amid Party Turmoil

The Democratic National Committee is playing damage control, frantically dismissing rumors that they’re fast-tracking President Joe Biden’s nomination through a virtual roll call before their convention. The speculation is swirling for good reason: Biden’s lackluster debate performance has clearly rattled his party, and more than a few Democrats are eager to swap their sputtering stallion before the 2024 race heats up.

While the Biden campaign cringes behind closed doors, spokespeople for the DNC rushed to insist this early roll call was part of a planned legal maneuver, cooked up in response to a ballot access dispute with Ohio’s Republican-controlled legislature. Sure, because legal battles are the most thrilling part of any election cycle.

Amusingly, Bloomberg couldn’t resist spilling the tea. They reported that this hasty roll call is set for July 21, well ahead of the Democratic National Convention next month in Chicago. The DNC evidently wants to ensure Biden is securely on ballots nationwide to face former President Donald Trump in November. All this, while attempting to silence the murmurings within their own ranks – which, after Biden’s last debate, are more cacophony than chatter.

In response, DNC Communications Director Rosemary Boeglin denied the claims on social media, brushing them off as fiction. She smugly reiterated that this virtual roll call was announced weeks ago to counteract the so-called “bad-faith attempts” by Ohio Republicans to block Biden’s ballot access. Apparently, we should just accept this as pure coincidence, while the rest of the Democratic Party’s mess goes conveniently unnoticed.

DNC Chairman Jaime Harrison threw his two cents into the fray, blaming Ohio Republicans for the DNC’s hasty maneuver. He promised that Biden would be on ballots in all 50 states and, in so many words, accused Republicans of negligence and partisanship. Unspoken was why an allegedly “popular” incumbent needed such drastic intervention to secure his spot.

Lastly, in what almost seemed like a punchline, the DNC declared that their virtual roll call would protect democracy from Republican “incompetence or partisan tricks.” The irony? Democrats are calling for Biden’s replacement after his bumbling debate performance. It appears the only ones engaging in “partisan tricks” might be found in party headquarters, scrambling to prop up a faltering frontrunner who can’t seem to figure out which way is up.

Written by Staff Reports

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