Staff Reports
President Joe Biden’s ancestor seems to have a family history that’s more colorful than a rainbow! According to The Washington Post, it turns out that Biden’s great-great-grandfather, Moses Johnson Robinette, got into quite the pickle back in 1864. This guy was convicted for stabbing another fella while working for the Union Army. Yeesh, talk about a family tree with some thorns!
Abraham Lincoln pardoned Biden’s great-great-grandfather: Report https://t.co/QzAapNg5Nc
— Bo Snerdley (@BoSnerdley) February 20, 2024
Now, old Moses was accused of taking a little stabby-stab at John J. Alexander, who was apparently running his mouth in the mess shanty. Sounds like Robinette might’ve had a bit of a temper, huh? But fear not, dear readers, because in swoops Abraham Lincoln with his pardon cape flapping in the wind! The great Emancipator decided to give Robinette a get-out-of-jail-free card, much to the relief of his family and probably the horses he was supposed to be treating.
So there’s this whole drama that goes down at a Union camp in Virginia, where Robinette, who wasn’t even a real doctor or vet, claims he was just defending himself. Now, call me crazy, but doesn’t stabbing someone sound a tad extreme for self-defense? The military court didn’t quite buy his tale either, slapping him with all sorts of charges except attempted murder. Off to hard labor on an island he went, where they basically sent folks they wanted to forget about. Good ol’ Uncle Abe probably felt bad for the guy, or maybe he just had a soft spot for questionable family trees.
But wait, there’s more! Some officers and a senator hitch their wagons to Robinette’s cause, begging Lincoln to show mercy because, hey, the dude has kids and supposedly really liked the Union. I mean, who wouldn’t like the Union when they’re facing two years of hard labor in “America’s Siberia”? It’s like a bad reality show plot unfolding in the 1800s.
In the end, thanks to some political nudging and Lincoln’s presidential pen, Robinette gets to skip out of prison after a short stint. You can almost hear the sighs of relief echoing through the family tree as Moses makes his way back home. And would you look at that – turns out this colorful character is directly linked to none other than President Biden himself. It’s like a historical soap opera meets a genealogy show, but with more stab wounds and presidential pardons. Ain’t family history grand?
